Acts of courage

My acts of courage this months have been all those actions and acts of speech when I feared that I would be pushed away, rejected or seen as less than and still did them and stayed long enough to see what impact I made.  I tried a new way of running a training, I stayed with a group when they had a conflict and work it out, I supported a client in getting something done while in a rush.  Even though I felt not fully balanced and grounded in the speed of the work, I understood that to be the reality and stayed in the game as best as we could. 

I jumped to action to be with friends who lost their health and loved ones - not worrying about if something would be appropriate or not.  When my heart dictated what to do, I followed my heart.  I figured that they would let me know what was right and what was not right or timely.  I sent money, went over to give hugs, received hugs and kept checking in about their well-being.  I stayed engaged much longer and fully than what I would previously have done.  While I felt more exposed and vulnerable, I am figuring that to be fully engaged is better than to live in the possibility of getting rejected or not accepted fully.  I am following David Whyte's and Melissa Gates' advice:  Live to let my heart be broken rather than arranging my life to protect myself from it.  In my way of food metaphor - better to have eaten fully and stop eating when I am full or don't like the food than to worry about the meal being bad and leaving the table starving.